


i've been told

by probablynotadalek



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Family, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probablynotadalek/pseuds/probablynotadalek
Summary: There is power in making things. It’s one of the many lessons Shmi Skywalker learns from her son.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Shmi Skywalker
Kudos: 25





	i've been told

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all love Shmi Skywalker like I love Shmi Skywalker because that's what this is about!

“I’ve been told,” Anakin says to his mother, “that you can build a droid to do anything.”

Shmi hums as she works on a circuit board. “I suppose, if you know how to program it, that is true.”

“I’m gonna build a droid.”

She smiles. Of course he’s too young to worry about having expertise or finding parts and focuses entirely on what he wants to do. “I’m sure you will, honey.”

“You can teach me how to wire it. And I can find the parts at Watto’s.”

“Honey,” Shmi says. Watto will never give him the parts. There is no one to teach him how to code. “I think it might be a little harder than that.”

“That’s okay,” Anakin says. “My friends will help me.”

“Your friends?” She’s met most of his friends. They are children, most of them are slaves, and none of them would know anything about droids. “Which friends?”

“The ones outside.”

Outside could mean many things. It could mean outside their building or outside the slave quarters. But she knows those people and she knows none of them could help. Outside could also mean outside the city, and she hopes that he does not mean that. No good can come from outside the city. 

Still, it is good for him to make friends. 

“Outside can be dangerous.” She says, wary. “Maybe I should meet these friends of yours.”

“You have, mom.” Anakin says. Shmi tenses. She has met many people here, many from outside, and she wouldn’t trust a single one of them with her son. “They’re everywhere.”

“Everywhere?”

Anakin nods. “That’s why they know everything.”

“Ah,” Shmi breathes a sigh of relief. It’s one of his fantasies again. It’s harmless. “That must be useful, having everywhere-everything friends. Especially for droid-building.”

***

“I’ve been told,” Anakin says while they scrub salvage parts, “that slavery is illegal on Naboo.” 

Shmi stills. She has always wanted better for her son, always wanted to give him the best possible chance, but she has no doubt about her place. Hardly anyone born on Tatooine ever leaves, and especially not people like them. He shouldn’t get his hopes up and she shouldn’t let him. 

“I think you’re right.” She smiles. 

“We should go there,” he says. 

“Maybe one day,” Shmi says, her throat tight. “But we don’t have a ship. And we don’t know how to fly.”

“Then I’ll learn,” Anakin says. “And I’ll find a way to make money, and I’ll buy us a ship.”

Shmi thinks about the pile of parts on the table at home. She had similar dreams years ago, when she started fixing things for handfuls of coins. Now she spends the money on extra food and clothes. She could rewire every computer on the planet and it still would never be enough to afford a ship. 

“You could try repairing droids.” She says. 

“Maybe I could try pod racing!”

Shmi laughs. “Sure, you could try pod racing. When you’re older.”

***

“I’ve been told,” Anakin says late one night, “That my grandfather was a pilot.”

Shmi closes her eyes. “My father was a…” she tries to find a nice word for “gambling alcoholic bastard” and fails. Pilot would have been a good lie, but he’d never left Tatooine. Maybe that was the problem. “He was a trader. On this planet.” 

“No,” Anakin says. “My other grandfather.”

Shmi freezes. “You have no other grandfather.”

“But Aji said that everyone has two parents and four grandparents and—“

“You don’t.” Shmi snaps. She takes a breath, tries to soften out the emotion in her voice. She’ll have to tell Anakin the truth about his father one day, she knows, but she doesn’t see the point. “It’s just us. Always has been.”

Anakin is silent for a moment. “Okay,” he says, just as sure as ever. “Ingra has three parents and twelve grandparents, so if I only have one parent and no grandparents that’s just even.”

“Even?”

“Yeah.” Anakin says. “Even. Balanced.”

“I see.” Shmi says. She wishes he were small enough that he still slept in her bed and she could feel his breathing. “Balance is good?”

“It’s important.” Anakin yawns. “The most important.”

***

“I’ve been told,” Anakin says while they’re at home, “that if you ask right, people have to give you whatever you ask for.”

Shmi sets down her tools and looks at him. “Who told you that?”

Anakin shrugs. “I heard it.” 

“Well,” Shmi turns to face him. “No one has to do anything. Most people in the slave quarters will help you if you ask them nicely but not everyone will.” She doesn’t explain how most people think they are beyond help or unworthy of it. He will find out soon enough. 

“What if you ask really strongly?” Anakin says. 

“Strongly?”

“Like, you don’t give them a choice. Or you make them think it’s their idea.”

“Anakin,” Shmi says sharply. He flinches a little and she takes a breath. “You can’t do that. It’s mean. And it’s dangerous.” 

“What if it works?”

“It won’t. Don’t try it.” 

Anakin grumbles something and looks away.

“Ani, look at me.” She says softly. He looks back at her. “Don’t try it. If you get caught, they’ll--” She takes a shuddering breath. “They’ll hurt you.”

“What if I don’t get caught?”

“It’s not worth it.”

“Then what is?” 

“Not…” Shmi stills. When she was younger, before Anakin came along, she risked a lot more for a lot less. She still has the scars to prove it. Now she can’t think of anything that would be worth taking that kind of risk for. She can’t leave him. “You’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

“I know.” 

“If they hurt you, it would hurt me. So please, don’t put me through that.” Her voice cracks and her eyes water.

Anakin climbs into her lap and wraps his arms around her neck. She hugs him close. “It hurts me too,” he whispers. “That’s why.”

Shmi squeezes him like she could tuck him behind her rib cage where he belongs, where she can protect him, right next to her heart. 

***

“I’ve been told,” Anakin says on their walk home, “that the hardest part of moving to a new planet is learning all the rules.” 

“Rules?” Shmi asks. She’s carrying a box of parts that Anakin has put together. She’s fairly certain he knows better than to steal them, but some of the parts look too good to be unwanted. Maybe he got them from Watto’s racing sponsorship. Maybe she’d rather not know. 

“Yeah, like how they greet each other and what all their words really mean and what stuff you’re not allowed to say. The rules no one tells you about.” 

“Yeah,” Shmi says. “I suppose that’s true.”

“That’s what I’ll build my droid to do.” Anakin says simply. “Know all of the rules. So we don’t have to worry about them.”

“It’ll have to be a pretty smart droid,” Shmi says. 

“He will be. I’ll make him the smartest droid ever.

***

“I’ve been told,” Anakin says while they work, “That someone is going to take me away from you someday.”

Shmi’s breath catches. He says it like a fact, an eventuality. She supposes it always has been. Even before he was born, when she dreamed she could keep him in her womb forever, he was never hers to keep. “Maybe.” 

“I won’t let them.” 

“Ani,” Shmi sighs, “You might not get to choose.”

“Then I’ll be strong.”

Shmi reaches out to touch him. She pets his head gently. “You are strong, Ani. You’re so strong. If they take you from me, it won’t be because you weren’t strong enough to stop them.” She moves her hand to his shoulder and kneels next to him. “If that happens, Ani, the strongest thing you can do is remember me.” 

Anakin looks at her seriously. “I promise, Mom. I’ll remember you forever.” He leans forward to touch their foreheads together. 

Keeping her breath under control his harder than she thought. She has given him everything she can, has tried to teach him everything she knows. She has sacrificed so much to protect him and to make him think that the world is good, even though she knows it isn’t. The thought that he will leave her and forget her and there is nothing she can do to stop it nearly tears her apart. 

Shmi gasps a little when Anakin pulls away. She doesn’t cry, though, doesn’t think about the future or the past or whether he has just lied to her. Whether he will learn how she has lied to him. 

Anakin looks down at the parts piling on their table. “I’ll leave him with you, if I go. So you won’t be lonely without me.”

Shmi manages to get one arm around him before she sobs. 

***

“I’ve been told,” Anakin says after he’s turned on the droid for the first time, “that he’s going to be very, very special.” His grin stretches wide across his face while the droid rattles to life. 

“I’m sure he is, Ani.” Shmi pulls him close. She tries to ignore how the droid sparks when he moves. “Sure.”


End file.
